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  1. It wasn’t long after my wife and I conceived that she decided that I was not fit to be a father. Although I have two girls from a previous marriage who love me, my self-sacrificing love for them wasn’t enough to show my current wife that I’m a good father. It was shortly after she left that I lost hope, I lost myself. One day I was standing in my living room alone wondering what was to become of my life and God brought me to my knees and I asked him to forgive me for all my sins, to help me become a father who my unborn child would grow to love, honor, and respect. That day, I became a Christian and started my new life. God told me that everything was going to be okay and to trust him and that what I was going through was in his plan and that trying to understand what he had planned for me was only going to make things me more difficult. I let go of the rope. Tugging back and forth between what I wanted and what I couldn’t understand only made the fight much harder and painful. I gave my rope to God and asked him to take over. The relief was instantaneous.

    Five months have passed and I am expecting our son in April. I know nothing of his health, do not know where he will be born, or if he is still on schedule with his original due date. HIs mother does not feel that she needs to keep me informed of anything and does not want to communicate with me. What I do know is that God has a plan for him as he does for me. These past five months have given me time to reflect on my life, concentrate on showing my girls how much I love them, and become closer to God. Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder about my son, but I know that he is going to be fine and that God’s will, will prevail. When the time is right, I will see my son and God will judge my wife and her family.

    My wife filed for divorce two months ago. Her family and friends came to my house right before Christmas and took those material things which she felt were important to her. When I came home after a long trip, the house was cold, empty, silent; I knew that God was with me and that although anger grew strong inside my heart, I knew that I had to forgive them for what they had done not only to me, but two my daughters, and our unborn child. I pray that He will continue to look out for my wife and her family and help guide them in their decisions to do the right thing. While I wait for my son to be born while simultaneously going through a divorce, child custody, and financial struggles, I always look to God. He continues to provide for me and watch over me and my family and I am thankful and blessed that He is with us all.

    Psalm 139: 23-24:

    Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
    And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.


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